ARTICLE 2 of 4
RELATIONSHIP WARS  PSALM 120 

GOD’S BLUEPRINT FOR UNDERSTANDING TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, EMOTIONAL DISTRESS & RELATIONAL WARFARE**
(C) 2025 Taveau D’Arcy Creative Leadership All rights reserved

Note this is a companion series to REAL  RESPECT: Emotional Drama & Family Witchcraft 4 parts

(C) 2025  Taveau D’Arcy Creative Leadership All copyrights reserved 
EORR Cross Body Unity • IFFM Mentoring

INTRODUCTION

If Psalm 120 reveals the problem — toxic communication, manipulation, emotional instability, lies, hostility, avoidance, shutting down, blocking, and refusal to reason —
then James 3:17 and Isaiah 1:18 reveal God’s solution:

“Come now, let us reason together…” — Isaiah 1:18

“The wisdom from above is… peaceable, gentle,

and easy to be intreated.” — James 3:17

PART 2 of this series describes the God-designed pattern for healthy relationships:

• marriage

• adult children & parents

• grandparents

• ministry teams

• friendships

• fellowship groups

• leadership settings

This is what “Real Respect” looks like in practice.

SECTION 1 — WHAT REAL RESPECT IS (AND IS NOT)

1. Real Respect Is a HEART POSTURE, Not a Tone or Technique

A person may:

• speak softly

• look spiritual

• carry a ministry title

• appear calm

…but still be dominating, manipulative, evasive, unapproachable, or unwilling to reason.

Real Respect is not:

• pretending

• superficial politeness

• emotional avoidance

• demanding quiet from others

• spiritualized intimidation

Real Respect is a Christlike interior posture expressed through behavior.

2. Real Respect Is Modeled by God Himself

God says:

“Come now, let us reason together…” (Isaiah 1:18)

This reveals:

• transparency

• willingness to talk

• invitation

• validation

• relational openness

• clarity

• negotiation

• accountability

• mutual understanding

God does not:

• avoid

• stonewall

• ministry ghost

• manipulate

• intimidate

• block

• ghost

• punish with silence

Humans do that — not God.

3. James 3:17 Defines Real Respect Clearly

“The wisdom from above is FIRST pure, then peaceable, gentle,
easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits,
without partiality, and without hypocrisy.”

This means the Christlike person:

• is safe to talk to

• does not punish you for telling the truth

• listens without attacking

• does not twist your words

• is willing to negotiate

• does not use drama

• does not weaponize Bible verses

• is approachable

• is correctable

• is merciful

• is transparent

If a relationship violates James 3:17, it is not functioning in Real Respect.

SECTION 2 — THE CHRISTLIKE STYLE OF COMMUNICATION

1. Christlike Communication Is Honest AND Gentle

Jesus never used:

• sarcasm

• manipulation

• guilt tactics

• emotional instability

• stonewalling

• hidden agendas

His communication style produced:

• clarity

• order

• safety

• dignity

• peace

• awareness

• truth

• freedom

This must become the pattern in:

• marriages

• families

• ministries

• friendships

2. Christlike Communication Seeks UNDERSTANDING, Not Victory

Worldly communication says:

• “I must win this argument.”

• “I must overpower your viewpoint.”

• “You must agree with me or else.”

Christlike communication says:

• “Help me understand.”

• “Let’s reason together.”

• “Where did I miscommunicate?”

• “How can we walk in peace?”

This is not weakness — it is strength of character.

3. Christlike Communication Takes Ownership

Instead of:

• blaming

• shaming

• gaslighting

• rewriting history

• denying

• dismissing

Christlike communication says:

• “I misunderstood you.”

• “I handled that poorly.”

• “I see why that hurt you.”

• “Let’s try again.”

This mirrors the humility of Christ.

Isaiah 58: I name it the “RELATIONSHIP RESPECT ” Fast

SECTION 3 — NEGOTIATION: THE CHRISTLIKE ALTERNATIVE TO EMOTIONAL WAR

1. Isaiah 1:18: God Invites Negotiation

God Himself sets the pattern:

“Come, let us reason together…”

You cannot reason with someone who:

• avoids

• blocks

• hides

• ghosts

• refuses to talk

• weaponizes silence

• punishes with emotional distance

• escalates into drama

• plays power games

• uses intimidation

Those are signs of demeaning disrespect,  devaluing, sometimes objectification, all of this are “power plays” and inflict demonic. accusation, self preferring rejection, and needless, mean, often cruel, heartless emotional warfare, onto others, defying Jesus Modeling “Saved’ proper negotiation, emotional abuse, (often preceding damaging abuse and violence)

The Psalm 120 person says:
“I am for peace…”
But the other person chooses war by:

• stone walling, intentional silence

• avoidance

• accusation

• volatility

• rigid control

Negotiation is impossible when one party is functioning in emotional warfare mode.

2. James 3:17 Reveals the Negotiator’s Nature

A person easy to be intreated is:

• reasonable

• flexible

• open to conversation

• willing to adjust

• willing to apologize

• approachable

This is the Biblical mark of a mature Christian.

A person who is:

• defensive

• hostile

• rigid

• punitive

• evasive

• overly dramatic

• emotionally unpredictable

…is not functioning in Christlike wisdom.

3. Negotiation Requires Mutual Safety

Negotiation cannot occur in an environment of:

• intimidation

• emotional instability

• past trauma ignored

• verbal warfare

• spiritualized manipulation

• threats or ultimatums

• cold, punishing silence

• constant misrepresentation

• controlling dynamics

Fruitfulness requires emotional oxygen, not suffocation.

\SECTION 4 — REAL RESPECT IN FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP & FELLOWSHIP

1. In Marriage

Real Respect in marriage means:

• no dramatics

• no stonewalling

• no emotional punishment

• no control

• no domination

• no Bible verses used as weapons

• no rewriting of conversation

• no grudges held for years

Marriage, ministry, mama or daddy ,main top leader..are each  a ministry of mutual peace, not war.

2. In Adult Children and Parent Relationships

Real Respect means:

• parents of, and grown adult children do not weaponize boundaries

• siblings, children, relatives, authorities, parents, step parents, leaders do not manipulate through guilt

• family, kin, friends, bosses, fellowship persons on BOTH sides are ongoing willing to sit down and reason

• communication is upfront, respectful,  honest and kind

• reconciliation is pursued when safe

Ghosting, blocking, or punishing with silence is emotional warfare, NOT maturity. It is self centric, yet accepted and a sign of narcessism in these hearless, perilous “evil”  last days, See Paul 2 Timothy 3:1-8 “lovers of themselves’ type of ‘warrior self preserving “type days.

ALL NARCESSISTS? Pastor Taveau reminds persons that the classic “narcessist” is the same wylie, dark spririt as a ‘cult leader” or parent, or boss, or lay, leader in the world but in the Christian Body.

3. In Grandparent Relationships, Step Parents, Bio Parents

Real Respect insists:

• grandchildren are not used as leverage

• access is not determined by control

• relationships are not weaponized

• stories are not rewritten

• peace is not denied to a willing grandparent

Many grandparents live Psalm 120:
“I am for peace, but they are for war.”

 

4. In Ministry and Fellowship

Real Respect in ministry includes:

• NO intimidation

• NO authoritarianism

• NO shaming

• NO prophetic accusation

• NO emotional dominance

• NO forced submission

• NO relational punishment

• NO gossip disguised as discernment

Ministry must reflect Isaiah 1:18 and James 3:17, or it is not Christlike.

 SECTION 5 — WHAT REAL RESPECT PRODUCES

When practiced, Real Respect produces:

• order

• clarity

• emotional safety

• relational stability

• joy

• repentance

• reconciliation

• transparency

• cooperation

• peace

It eliminates:

• guessing

• fear

• tension

• drama

• defensiveness

• suspicion

• explosive conversations

It transforms entire environments, homes, ministries, and fellowships.

SUMMARY OF PART 2

Psalm 120 shows the pain of relational warfare.
PART 2 reveals God’s relational antidote:

• Reason together (Isaiah 1:18)

• Be easy to be entreated (James 3:17)

• Model Christlike humility and approachability

This is the core of Real Respect —
the cure for emotional chaos, manipulation, and relational destruction.

(C)2025 Taveau Creative Leadership All copyrights reserved in conjunction with AI