{"id":5674,"date":"2025-12-05T08:45:26","date_gmt":"2025-12-05T08:45:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.taveaucreativeleadership.com\/?p=5674"},"modified":"2025-12-05T14:49:23","modified_gmt":"2025-12-05T14:49:23","slug":"part-3-relationship-wars-psalm-120-friends-family-fellowship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.taveaucreativeleadership.com\/?p=5674","title":{"rendered":"PART 3 RELATIONSHIP WARS PSALM 120 (FRIENDS, FAMILY, FELLOWSHIP)"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/h1>\n

\"\"<\/h1>\n

ARTICLE 3 of 4
\nRELATIONSHIP WARS\u00a0 <\/span>PSALM 120\u00a0<\/span><\/h1>\n

GOD\u2019S BLUEPRINT FOR UNDERSTANDING TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, EMOTIONAL DISTRESS & RELATIONAL WARFARE**<\/strong>
\n(C) 2025 Taveau D\u2019Arcy Creative Leadership All rights reserved<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Note this is a companion series to REAL\u00a0 RESPECT: Emotional Drama & Family Witchcraft 4 parts<\/span><\/h1>\n
The Spirit of Christ vs. the Spirit of Control**<\/h5>\n

In Part 1, we explored the cry of distress<\/strong>, and in Part 2, we identified the emotional and relational tactics<\/strong> that mirror \u201clying lips,\u201d \u201cdeceitful tongues,\u201d and people who \u201chate peace.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now in Part 3<\/strong>, we go deeper into the transformation of the believer<\/strong>, the contrast between human nature and Christlike character<\/strong>, and the call to relational purity, maturity, and respect<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Psalm 120 is not only a lament; it is a mirror<\/strong>, showing the difference between:<\/p>\n

    \n
  • \n

    a heart shaped by the Spirit of Christ<\/strong>
    and<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  • \n

    a heart ruled by insecurity, domination, manipulation, or fear<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    This is where the psalm becomes ministry training<\/strong>, marriage guidance<\/strong>, leadership equipping<\/strong>, and self-examination<\/strong> for every believer.<\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/h1>\n

    1. Human Nature Without Christ Produces Relational Darkness<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

    Psalm 120 reveals a relational world where some people:<\/p>\n

      \n
    • \n

      resist peace<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    • \n

      reject dialogue<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    • \n

      refuse accountability<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    • \n

      hide behind drama or silence<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    • \n

      punish others emotionally<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    • \n

      distort truth<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    • \n

      turn conversation into conflict<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      These traits do not come from spiritual maturity; they arise from the old nature<\/strong>, the unredeemed patterns within the soul.<\/p>\n

      Human nature produces:<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
        \n
      • \n

        defensiveness<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

      • \n

        jealousy<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

      • \n

        fear-based reactions<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

      • \n

        attempts to control others<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

      • \n

        blame-shifting<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

      • \n

        emotional manipulation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

      • \n

        avoidance of truth<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

      • \n

        hostility toward peace<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

        This is what the psalmist meant when he said:<\/p>\n

        \u201cMy soul hath long dwelt with him that hateth peace.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

        It is the exhaustion of living with a person whose heart is not governed by the wisdom of God.<\/p>\n

        \"\"<\/h1>\n

        2. Christlike Character Produces Relational Safety<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

        When the Holy Spirit governs a heart, the person becomes safe to relate to<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

        James 3:17 shows the opposite of the \u201cwar-spirit\u201d in Psalm 120:<\/p>\n

        \u201cThe wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle,
        and easy to be intreated\u2026\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

        This means:<\/p>\n

          \n
        • \n

          approachable<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        • \n

          gentle when confronted<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        • \n

          humble when corrected<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        • \n

          not easily offended<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        • \n

          able to negotiate and reason<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        • \n

          not controlling<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        • \n

          not emotionally punishing<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

          The Spirit of Christ creates relationships where people do not fear:<\/span><\/h4>\n
            \n
          • \n

            retaliation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

          • \n

            silent treatment<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

          • \n

            emotional shutdown<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

          • \n

            verbal attacks<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

          • \n

            character assassination<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

            Instead, Christ forms people who reflect:<\/h5>\n
              \n
            • \n

              patience<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

            • \n

              truth<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

            • \n

              mercy<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

            • \n

              relational safety<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

            • \n

              accountability<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

            • \n

              genuine humility<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

              Psalm 120 contrasts two relational kingdoms<\/strong>:
              the kingdom of peace and the kingdom of emotional warfare.<\/p>\n

              \"\"<\/p>\n

              3. \u201cI Speak Peace, but They Choose War\u201d \u2014 The Root of Many Relationship Problems<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

              This line describes:<\/p>\n

                \n
              • \n

                marriages where only one spouse tries<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

              • \n

                families where one person refuses conversation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

              • \n

                ministries where leaders shut down contrary opinions<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

              • \n

                friendships where one is always on guard<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

              • \n

                church culture built on fear, control, or emotional volatility<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                It is the dynamic where one person:<\/span><\/h3>\n
                  \n
                • \n

                  opens the door for reconciliation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                • \n

                  invites reasoning<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                • \n

                  tries to work things out respectfully<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                • \n

                  seeks mutual understanding<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                  \u2026but the other responds with:<\/p>\n

                    \n
                  • \n

                    conflict<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                  • \n

                    avoidance<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                  • \n

                    emotional weapons<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                  • \n

                    insults<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                  • \n

                    defensiveness<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                  • \n

                    spiritual intimidation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                  • \n

                    shutdown<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                    This is not<\/strong> merely \u201cpersonality difference.\u201d<\/span>
                    Scripture calls it a spiritual heart posture<\/strong>.<\/span><\/h4>\n

                    Where Christ reigns, peace reigns.
                    Where control reigns, conflict reigns.<\/p>\n

                    \"\"<\/h1>\n

                    4. Why Some Believers Still Operate in \u201cWar Mode\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

                    Even Christian people can default to emotional warfare because of:<\/p>\n

                    A. Unhealed trauma<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

                    Control becomes a shield, not a sin they notice.<\/p>\n

                    B. Learned family patterns<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

                    People repeat what their parents modeled unless the Holy Spirit retrains them.<\/p>\n

                    C. Fear of vulnerability<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

                    Peace requires honesty; some prefer anger or silence because it feels safer.<\/p>\n

                    D. Spiritual immaturity<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

                    They know doctrine, but not the ways<\/strong> of Christ.<\/p>\n

                    E. A \u201cSaul spirit\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

                    Jealousy + insecurity + authority misused = emotional spears.<\/p>\n

                    F. Pride<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

                    Some will never say, \u201cI was wrong.\u201d<\/span>
                    And thus they remain at war\u2014externally and internally.<\/span><\/h4>\n

                    Psalm 120 becomes a diagnostic tool:
                    Peace-resistance reveals an unyielded part of the heart.<\/strong><\/p>\n

                    5. The Call to Ministers: Teach God\u2019s People RELATIONSHIP “REAL RESPECT” which is both moral, Bible, whole Relational (no Big Boss) Purity<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n
                    THE MAIN VAIN POINT<\/h5>\n
                    The modern church often focuses on gifts, miracles, platforms, and titles\u2014yet neglects family, Holy Fear of the Lord “direct” Godly relationship real respect, which is ‘other centered ” “humble valuing” and holy as before the Loving Lord<\/strong>.<\/h5>\n

                    Psalm 120 shows that:<\/p>\n

                      \n
                    • \n

                      lying lips<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                    • \n

                      deceitful tongues<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                    • \n

                      false narratives<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                    • \n

                      refusal to reconcile<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                    • \n

                      emotional punishments<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                    • \n

                      manipulation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                    • \n

                      drama patterns<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                    • \n

                      distorted communication<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                      \u2026are sins<\/strong>, not personality quirks.<\/p>\n

                      Ministers are called to teach:<\/p>\n

                      *<\/span> What healthy communication looks like<\/span><\/h3>\n

                      * What relational respect requires<\/span><\/h3>\n

                      * How to resolve conflict biblically<\/span><\/h3>\n

                      * How to recognize emotional abuse<\/span><\/h3>\n

                      * How to stop participating in drama cycles<\/span><\/h3>\n

                      * How to cultivate a heart \u201ceasy to be entreated\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n

                      * How to walk in Christlike dialogue<\/span><\/h3>\n

                      * How to avoid witchcraft-style control<\/span><\/h3>\n

                      This psalm exposes the shadow side of relationships and calls leaders to equip people in practical righteousness.<\/strong><\/p>\n

                      6. The Believer\u2019s Responsibility: Choose Peace Even When Surrounded by War<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

                      The psalmist models the correct response:<\/p>\n

                      \u201cIn my distress I cried unto the LORD, and He heard me.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n

                      He did not:<\/p>\n

                        \n
                      • \n

                        retaliate<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                      • \n

                        slander back<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                      • \n

                        manipulate in return<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                      • \n

                        respond with equal emotional force<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                        He turned to God, not to flesh.
                        He pursued peace, not power.<\/p>\n

                        And most importantly:<\/p>\n

                        He did not let the other person\u2019s war define his identity.<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n

                        This is the heart of Psalm 120:<\/p>\n

                        ++ You can be for peace even when others are for war.<\/strong>
                        ++ You can speak truth even when others distort it.<\/strong>
                        ++ You can maintain dignity when others act in disorder.<\/strong>
                        ++ You can be Christlike even when surrounded by emotional immaturity.<\/strong><\/h4>\n

                        God honors the heart that chooses peace.<\/p>\n

                        \"\"<\/p>\n

                        7. The Christlike Solution: Reason Together (Isaiah 1:18)<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

                        God Himself models the relational goal:<\/p>\n

                        \u201cCome now, and let us reason together.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

                        Reasoning requires:<\/p>\n

                          \n
                        • \n

                          openness<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                        • \n

                          listening<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                        • \n

                          humility<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                        • \n

                          accountability<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                        • \n

                          emotional steadiness<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                        • \n

                          willingness to understand<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                          This is the cure for the \u201cwar spirit\u201d in Psalm 120.<\/p>\n

                          Peace is not passive.
                          Peace is not weakness.
                          Peace is not silence.<\/h4>\n

                          Peace is the courageous act of maturity.<\/strong><\/p>\n

                          \"\"<\/p>\n

                          8. Part 3 Summary: What Psalm 120 Trains Us to Become<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

                          A healthy, mature Christian:<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n
                            \n
                          • is “other centered’ not self centric, not overly self involved and still has remaining hujman empathy and Jesus Christ like “human compassion’<\/li>\n
                          • \n

                            communicates peacefully<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                          • \n

                            refuses manipulation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                          • \n

                            avoids emotional weapons<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                          • \n

                            listens well<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                          • \n

                            apologizes sincerely<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                          • \n

                            remains approachable<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                          • \n

                            values dignity<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                          • \n

                            reasons together<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                          • \n

                            practices mutual respect<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                          • \n

                            rejects drama and control<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                          • \n

                            walks in the wisdom from above<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                            A spiritually unsafe person:<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

                             <\/p>\n

                              \n
                            • \n

                              seeks “self”<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                            • remains “indifferent”<\/li>\n
                            • <\/li>\n
                            • \n

                              resists peace<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                            • \n

                              distorts truth<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                            • \n

                              controls conversations<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                            • \n

                              uses silence or anger as punishment<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                            • \n

                              refuses accountability<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                            • \n

                              prefers war over reconciliation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n

                            • \"\"<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                              FINAL THOUGHT: A Psalm for Our Times<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

                              Psalm 120 is not simply about ancient enemies\u2014
                              it is about modern relationships<\/strong>, home life<\/strong>, marriage dynamics<\/strong>, ministry culture<\/strong>, and the state of the heart<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

                              It asks every believer:<\/p>\n

                              **Do I create peace, or do I create war?<\/span><\/h3>\n

                              Do I bring clarity, or confusion?
                              Do I use respect, or control?
                              Do I reflect Christ, or the old nature?**<\/p>\n

                              This is the true test of spiritual maturity.<\/span><\/h4>\n

                              (C)2025 Taveau D’Arcy Creative Leadership All copyrights reserved in conjunction with AI<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                              ARTICLE 3 of 4 RELATIONSHIP WARS\u00a0 PSALM 120\u00a0 GOD\u2019S BLUEPRINT FOR UNDERSTANDING TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, EMOTIONAL DISTRESS & RELATIONAL WARFARE** (C) 2025 Taveau D\u2019Arcy Creative Leadership All rights reserved Note this is a companion series to REAL\u00a0 RESPECT: Emotional Drama & Family Witchcraft 4 parts The Spirit of Christ vs. the Spirit of Control** In Part…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5665,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[18,2,14,8,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5674","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ai-and-i","category-all","category-beliefs","category-christ-jesus","category-ministry-relationships"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t