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(C) 2025\u00a0 Taveau D\u2019Arcy Creative Leadership All copyrights reserved\u00a0<\/strong> If Psalm 120<\/strong> reveals the problem<\/em> \u2014 toxic communication, manipulation, emotional instability, lies, hostility, avoidance, shutting down, blocking, and refusal to reason \u2014 PART 2 of this series describes the God-designed pattern<\/strong> for healthy relationships:<\/p>\n marriage<\/p>\n<\/li>\n adult children & parents<\/p>\n<\/li>\n grandparents<\/p>\n<\/li>\n ministry teams<\/p>\n<\/li>\n friendships<\/p>\n<\/li>\n fellowship groups<\/p>\n<\/li>\n leadership settings<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n This is what \u201cReal Respect\u201d looks like in practice.<\/p>\n A person may:<\/p>\n speak softly<\/p>\n<\/li>\n look spiritual<\/p>\n<\/li>\n carry a ministry title<\/p>\n<\/li>\n appear calm<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n \u2026but still be dominating, manipulative, evasive, unapproachable, or unwilling to reason<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Real Respect is not:<\/p>\n pretending<\/p>\n<\/li>\n superficial politeness<\/p>\n<\/li>\n emotional avoidance<\/p>\n<\/li>\n demanding quiet from others<\/p>\n<\/li>\n spiritualized intimidation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Real Respect is a Christlike interior posture<\/strong> expressed through behavior.<\/p>\n God says:<\/p>\n This reveals:<\/p>\n transparency<\/p>\n<\/li>\n willingness to talk<\/p>\n<\/li>\n invitation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n validation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n relational openness<\/p>\n<\/li>\n clarity<\/p>\n<\/li>\n negotiation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n accountability<\/p>\n<\/li>\n mutual understanding<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n avoid<\/p>\n<\/li>\n stonewall<\/p>\n<\/li>\n manipulate<\/p>\n<\/li>\n intimidate<\/p>\n<\/li>\n block<\/p>\n<\/li>\n ghost<\/p>\n<\/li>\n punish with silence<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Humans do that \u2014 not God.<\/strong><\/p>\n This means the Christlike person:<\/p>\n is safe to talk to<\/p>\n<\/li>\n does not punish you for telling the truth<\/p>\n<\/li>\n listens without attacking<\/p>\n<\/li>\n does not twist your words<\/p>\n<\/li>\n is willing to negotiate<\/p>\n<\/li>\n does not use drama<\/p>\n<\/li>\n does not weaponize Bible verses<\/p>\n<\/li>\n is approachable<\/p>\n<\/li>\n is correctable<\/p>\n<\/li>\n is merciful<\/p>\n<\/li>\n is transparent<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n If a relationship violates James 3:17, it is not functioning in Real Respect.<\/p>\n Jesus never used:<\/p>\n sarcasm<\/p>\n<\/li>\n manipulation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n guilt tactics<\/p>\n<\/li>\n emotional instability<\/p>\n<\/li>\n stonewalling<\/p>\n<\/li>\n hidden agendas<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n His communication style produced:<\/p>\n clarity<\/p>\n<\/li>\n order<\/p>\n<\/li>\n safety<\/p>\n<\/li>\n dignity<\/p>\n<\/li>\n peace<\/p>\n<\/li>\n awareness<\/p>\n<\/li>\n truth<\/p>\n<\/li>\n freedom<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n This must become the pattern in:<\/p>\n marriages<\/p>\n<\/li>\n families<\/p>\n<\/li>\n ministries<\/p>\n<\/li>\n friendships<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Worldly communication says:<\/p>\n \u201cI must win this argument.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n \u201cI must overpower your viewpoint.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n \u201cYou must agree with me or else.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n \u201cHelp me understand.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n \u201cWhere did I miscommunicate?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n \u201cHow can we walk in peace?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Instead of:<\/p>\n blaming<\/p>\n<\/li>\n shaming<\/p>\n<\/li>\n gaslighting<\/p>\n<\/li>\n rewriting history<\/p>\n<\/li>\n denying<\/p>\n<\/li>\n dismissing<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n \u201cI misunderstood you.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n \u201cI handled that poorly.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n \u201cI see why that hurt you.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n \u201cLet\u2019s try again.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n This mirrors the humility of Christ.<\/p>\n Isaiah 58: I name it the “RELATIONSHIP RESPECT ” Fast<\/em><\/p>\n God Himself sets the pattern:<\/p>\n You cannot reason with someone who:<\/p>\n avoids<\/p>\n<\/li>\n blocks<\/p>\n<\/li>\n hides<\/p>\n<\/li>\n ghosts<\/p>\n<\/li>\n refuses to talk<\/p>\n<\/li>\n weaponizes silence<\/p>\n<\/li>\n punishes with emotional distance<\/p>\n<\/li>\n escalates into drama<\/p>\n<\/li>\n plays power games<\/p>\n<\/li>\n uses intimidation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n stone walling, intentional silence<\/p>\n<\/li>\n avoidance<\/p>\n<\/li>\n accusation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n volatility<\/p>\n<\/li>\n rigid control<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Negotiation is impossible when one party is functioning in emotional warfare mode.<\/p>\n A person easy to be intreated<\/strong> is:<\/p>\n reasonable<\/p>\n<\/li>\n flexible<\/p>\n<\/li>\n open to conversation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n willing to adjust<\/p>\n<\/li>\n willing to apologize<\/p>\n<\/li>\n approachable<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n This is the Biblical mark of a mature Christian.<\/p>\n A person who is:<\/p>\n defensive<\/p>\n<\/li>\n hostile<\/p>\n<\/li>\n rigid<\/p>\n<\/li>\n punitive<\/p>\n<\/li>\n evasive<\/p>\n<\/li>\n overly dramatic<\/p>\n<\/li>\n emotionally unpredictable<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n \u2026is not functioning in Christlike wisdom.<\/p>\n Negotiation cannot occur in an environment of:<\/p>\n intimidation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n emotional instability<\/p>\n<\/li>\n past trauma ignored<\/p>\n<\/li>\n verbal warfare<\/p>\n<\/li>\n spiritualized manipulation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n threats or ultimatums<\/p>\n<\/li>\n cold, punishing silence<\/p>\n<\/li>\n constant misrepresentation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n controlling dynamics<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Fruitfulness requires emotional oxygen<\/strong>, not suffocation.<\/p>\n Real Respect in marriage means:<\/p>\n no dramatics<\/p>\n<\/li>\n no stonewalling<\/p>\n<\/li>\n no emotional punishment<\/p>\n<\/li>\n no control<\/p>\n<\/li>\n no domination<\/p>\n<\/li>\n no Bible verses used as weapons<\/p>\n<\/li>\n no rewriting of conversation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n no grudges held for years<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n parents of, and grown adult children do not weaponize boundaries<\/p>\n<\/li>\n siblings, children, relatives, authorities, parents, step parents, leaders do not manipulate through guilt<\/p>\n<\/li>\n family, kin, friends, bosses, fellowship persons on BOTH sides are ongoing willing to sit down and reason<\/p>\n<\/li>\n communication is upfront, respectful,\u00a0 honest and kind<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Ghosting, blocking, or punishing with silence is emotional warfare, NOT maturity. It is self centric, yet accepted and a sign of narcessism in these hearless, perilous “evil”\u00a0 last days, See Paul 2 Timothy 3:1-8 “lovers of themselves’ type of ‘warrior self preserving “type days.<\/p>\n Real Respect insists:<\/p>\n grandchildren are not used as leverage<\/p>\n<\/li>\n access is not determined by control<\/p>\n<\/li>\n relationships are not weaponized<\/p>\n<\/li>\n stories are not rewritten<\/p>\n<\/li>\n peace is not denied to a willing grandparent<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Many grandparents live Psalm 120: <\/p>\n Real Respect in ministry includes:<\/p>\n NO intimidation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n NO authoritarianism<\/p>\n<\/li>\n NO shaming<\/p>\n<\/li>\n NO prophetic accusation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n NO emotional dominance<\/p>\n<\/li>\n NO forced submission<\/p>\n<\/li>\n NO relational punishment<\/p>\n<\/li>\n NO gossip disguised as discernment<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n Ministry must reflect Isaiah 1:18<\/strong> and James 3:17<\/strong>, or it is not Christlike.<\/p>\n When practiced, Real Respect produces:<\/p>\n order<\/p>\n<\/li>\n clarity<\/p>\n<\/li>\n emotional safety<\/p>\n<\/li>\n relational stability<\/p>\n<\/li>\n joy<\/p>\n<\/li>\n repentance<\/p>\n<\/li>\n reconciliation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n transparency<\/p>\n<\/li>\n cooperation<\/p>\n<\/li>\n peace<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n It eliminates:<\/p>\n guessing<\/p>\n<\/li>\n fear<\/p>\n<\/li>\n tension<\/p>\n<\/li>\n drama<\/p>\n<\/li>\n defensiveness<\/p>\n<\/li>\n suspicion<\/p>\n<\/li>\n explosive conversations<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n It transforms entire environments, homes, ministries, and fellowships.<\/p>\n Psalm 120 shows the pain of relational warfare. Reason together<\/strong> (Isaiah 1:18)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Be easy to be entreated<\/strong> (James 3:17)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Model Christlike humility and approachability<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n This is the core of Real Respect<\/strong> \u2014 (C)2025 Taveau Creative Leadership All copyrights reserved in conjunction with AI<\/p>\n \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" ARTICLE 2 of 4 RELATIONSHIP WARS\u00a0 PSALM 120\u00a0 GOD\u2019S BLUEPRINT FOR UNDERSTANDING TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, EMOTIONAL DISTRESS & RELATIONAL WARFARE** (C) 2025 Taveau D\u2019Arcy Creative Leadership All rights reserved Note this is a companion series to REAL\u00a0 RESPECT: Emotional Drama & Family Witchcraft 4 parts (C) 2025\u00a0 Taveau D\u2019Arcy Creative Leadership All copyrights reserved\u00a0EORR Cross Body…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5665,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[18,2,9,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5671","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ai-and-i","category-all","category-ministry-definitions","category-ministry-relationships"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t
EORR Cross Body Unity \u2022 IFFM Mentoring<\/strong><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.taveaucreativeleadership.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/Screen-Shot-2025-12-02-at-6.39.24-PM.png\")
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<\/h1>\nINTRODUCTION<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n
then James 3:17<\/strong> and Isaiah 1:18<\/strong> reveal God\u2019s solution<\/em>:<\/p>\n\u201cCome now, let us reason together\u2026\u201d \u2014 Isaiah 1:18<\/strong><\/h4>\n
\u201cThe wisdom from above is\u2026 peaceable, gentle,<\/strong><\/h4>\n
and easy to be intreated.\u201d \u2014 James 3:17<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n
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<\/p>\n<\/h1>\n
SECTION 1 \u2014 WHAT REAL RESPECT IS (AND IS NOT)<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n
1. Real Respect Is a HEART POSTURE, Not a Tone or Technique<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
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2. Real Respect Is Modeled by God Himself<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
\u201cCome now, let us reason together\u2026\u201d<\/strong> (Isaiah 1:18)<\/span><\/h3>\n
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God does not:<\/strong><\/h3>\n
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<\/p>\n3. James 3:17 Defines Real Respect Clearly<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
\u201cThe wisdom from above is FIRST pure, then peaceable, gentle,<\/span>
easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits,<\/span>
without partiality, and without hypocrisy.\u201d<\/span><\/h4>\n\n
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<\/p>\nSECTION 2 \u2014 THE CHRISTLIKE STYLE OF COMMUNICATION<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n
1. Christlike Communication Is Honest AND Gentle<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
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2. Christlike Communication Seeks UNDERSTANDING, Not Victory<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
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Christlike communication says:<\/h4>\n
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\u201cLet\u2019s reason together.\u201d<\/h3>\n<\/li>\n
This is not weakness \u2014 it is strength of character.<\/h4>\n
<\/p>\n3. Christlike Communication Takes Ownership<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
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Christlike communication says:<\/h4>\n
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<\/p>\nSECTION 3 \u2014 NEGOTIATION: THE CHRISTLIKE ALTERNATIVE TO EMOTIONAL WAR<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
1. Isaiah 1:18: God Invites Negotiation<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
\u201cCome, let us reason together\u2026\u201d<\/strong><\/h3>\n
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Those are signs of demeaning disrespect,\u00a0 devaluing, sometimes objectification, all of this are “power plays” and inflict demonic. accusation, self preferring rejection, and needless, mean, often cruel, heartless\u00a0emotional warfare<\/strong>, onto others, defying Jesus Modeling “Saved’ proper negotiation, emotional abuse, (often preceding damaging abuse and violence)<\/span><\/h3>\n
The Psalm 120 person says:
\u201cI am for peace\u2026\u201d<\/strong>
But the other person chooses war by:<\/h4>\n\n
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<\/p>\n2. James 3:17 Reveals the Negotiator\u2019s Nature<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
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3. Negotiation Requires Mutual Safety<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
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<\/p>\n\\SECTION 4 \u2014 REAL RESPECT IN FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP & FELLOWSHIP<\/strong><\/span><\/h5>\n
1. In Marriage<\/strong><\/span><\/h5>\n
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Marriage, ministry, mama or daddy ,main top leader..are each\u00a0 a ministry of mutual peace<\/strong>, not war.<\/span><\/h4>\n
2. In Adult Children and Parent Relationships<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
Real Respect means:<\/h4>\n
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reconciliation is pursued when safe<\/h5>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
ALL NARCESSISTS? Pastor Taveau reminds persons that the classic “narcessist” is the same wylie, dark spririt as a ‘cult leader” or parent, or boss, or lay, leader in the world but in the Christian Body.<\/h5>\n
3. In Grandparent Relationships, Step Parents, Bio Parents<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
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\u201cI am for peace, but they are for war.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n4. In Ministry and Fellowship<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
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\u00a0SECTION 5 \u2014 WHAT REAL RESPECT PRODUCES<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n
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SUMMARY OF PART 2<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n
PART 2 reveals God\u2019s relational antidote:<\/p>\n\n
the cure for emotional chaos, manipulation, and relational destruction.<\/p>\n